In spring 2008, the wife person and I tied the knot. However, we got engaged in 2007 and lived together for about a year before we got married and lived married for a year before we decided to have our first kid. This year we will be happily married for 13yrs. Now I’m no marriage expert but I think that’s a damn huge accomplishment considering that when we got married in 2008 there were others getting married before us or after us that are now divorced and each year we seem to be collecting more of these divorced friends instead of married ones. Some are even divorced by no fault of their own; they were just growing in different directions to their spouse.
Why write this post? What have we done as a couple that has us still madly in love 13yrs later, also considering we started dating in 2004, so madly in love after almost 17yrs together.
Before I give you our list, I’ll start by saying that we lived together for a year before we got engaged. Some older folks might frown upon this and I can agree with their sentiment but here’s our view. We wanted to test the water before we decide to take the leap and jump in. Just clear your dirty mind of moving in for the sex, that’s just a bonus and it’s more adventurous sneaking around when you’re living with your parents.
We wanted to see if we were compatible, could we share a space together i.e. kitchen, lounge, toilet (married almost 13yrs still can’t poo in front of the wife person), we kind of knew we could share a bedroom, that was a given.
Interesting side note: when we moved in together I had more clothes than the wife person.
Could she handle my ever changing mind or lack of focus (most times) and could I handle her ever changing moods? Guess what, we made it through one year and decided we were ready for the next step or at least I did and she said yes.
Here’s our list for a happy marriage:
1 – Prayer Together
Let your faith guide you in your marriage, be thankful for one another,
2 – Love One Another
Easy right but start and end your day with a hug and a kiss. Don’t just say I love you; mean it by showing it – there’s so many ways,
3 – Take Walks Together Holding Hands
Holding hands especially in public is a huge confirmation for your love for one another,
4 – Flirt During The Day
There are so many ways to keep in touch these days and we are so consumed by our phones that they are bound to read your message, so start typing. Every relationship starts with lust; I don’t believe in love at first sight. You see that girl or guy and you want them, that isn’t love that’s lust. So go back to those hunting days and start flirting,
5 – Praise And Encourage One Another
Thank each other for something they did during the day. Everyone wants to know they can do better, encourage your spouse. Be the positive one when they are negative,
6 – Pillow Talk
Wake up a little earlier or stay up a bit late just to talk, about anything,
7 – Laugh
The wife person and I find ourselves laughing so much it hurts sometimes, but it sure does feel good, it’s also our secret to staying young. Laugh daily,
8 – Do Something Unexpected To Remind Them Of You
I would sometimes spray my favourite cologne on the wife person’s morning gown if I was leaving for work early and she’d be lying in bed asleep. When she puts it on she gets this immediate surprise of me close by but not there,
9 – Date Night
It’s so important to make time for one another, marriage brings kids and extra responsibilities and often we run out of time. Make a plan to set aside some time to go out together. Get dressed up and head to that fancy restaurant, catch the latest movies or something the wife person and I enjoy doing – go garage (service stations) hoping. We would visit all the service stations close to our house and buy an item to eat at each one i.e. coffee, cake, sweets, ice cream, etc.
10 – Don’t Go To Bed Angry At One Another
If you have an argument or disagreement sort it out before bed time, going to bed angry gives the situation time to get worse. Work it out, hug and kiss before you decide to go to sleep,
11 – Tell Your Spouse They Are Beautiful But Mean It By Showing It
I greet the wife person every morning the same way, “Good morning gorgeous” but every now and then I also slap her on her ass when she walks by and say “How’re you doing gorgeous?”. We can confess that after being together for almost 17yrs we still check each other out,
12 – Kiss Your Spouse
Talking to the guys here – Kiss your spouse; that toe curling, leg raising, stomach turning, head all fuzzy kind of kiss. Remind them why they chose you, remember they chose you after your first kiss together, it was the deal breaker. Looks and personality were all a bonus because those would change over time but the way you kiss them and make them feel during that kiss will last or should last as long as you are together. That’s what you were up against that first time you kissed.
I can go on and on but all the above you should and/or already know, you just managed to forget it along the way.
Marriage is a business contract
GJ De Rock
You both signed to make the business grow, work and be successful. If one of you doesn’t pull their weight the business will fail. That’s where teamwork is so important. Want that happy marriage and stay in love for years to come, put in the work…DAILY!
Sure some of you have more advice to add onto the list above, let me know in the comments below how you keep your marriage Happy!
