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As a Dad, communication with your kids is one of the most important aspects of your relationship.
However, it’s not always easy to know what to say or how to say it, especially when tensions are running high.
One approach that can help is Nonviolent Communication (NVC).
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a communication approach developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s.
Its aim is to promote understanding and compassion between people, while reducing conflict and violence.
At its core, NVC involves four key components:
Observations: This involves describing what is happening in a situation, without interpretation or evaluation.
Feelings: This component involves expressing how the situation makes you feel, in a way that is specific and clear.
Needs: This component involves identifying what needs you have that are not being met in the situation.
Requests: This component involves making a clear request for a specific action that would help meet your needs.
NVC also involves avoiding language that is judgmental, blaming, or accusatory, and instead focusing on expressing oneself in a way that is respectful, empathetic, and non-threatening.
Here are 4 tips on how to use NVC with your kids.
1 – Observe Without Judgement
When communicating with your kids, it’s important to observe without judgment.
This means describing what is happening in a situation, without interpretation or evaluation.
For example, instead of saying “You always leave your toys on the floor”, you could say “I see your toys on the floor”.
By observing without judgment, you can avoid putting your kid on the defensive and keep the conversation focused on the issue at hand.
2 – Express Your Feelings
The second component of NVC is expressing your feelings.
This involves describing how the situation makes you feel, in a way that is specific and clear.
For example, instead of saying “You’re making me angry”, you could say “I feel frustrated when I see your toys on the floor”.
By expressing your feelings, you can help your kid understand the impact their behaviour is having on
you, and encourage them to be more empathetic.
3 – Identify Your Needs
The third component of NVC is identifying your needs.
This involves recognizing what needs you have that are not being met in the situation.
For example, if you feel frustrated by your kid leaving toys on the floor, your need might be for a clean
and tidy living space.
By identifying your needs, you can help your kid understand why the issue is important to you, and
encourage them to work with you to find a solution.
4 – Make A Request
The final component of NVC is making a request.
This involves making a clear request for a specific action that would help meet your needs.
For example, you could say “Can you please put your toys away in the toy box when you’re finished playing with them?”
By making a request, you can give your kid a clear idea of what they need to do to resolve the issue and encourage them to take responsibility for their actions.
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) can be a valuable tool for Dads looking to communicate more effectively with their kids.
By observing without judgment, expressing your feelings, identifying your needs, and making a request,
you can promote understanding and compassion, while reducing conflict and violence.
Remember to stay calm, listen actively, and be patient as you work through communication challenges with your kids.
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) has been widely used in a variety of settings, including conflict resolution, therapy, parenting, and workplace communication, among others.
With practice, NVC can help you build stronger, more positive relationships with your kids.
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